So, eventually, I got back home. What a day it had been, but hey, at least it’s over! Or so I thought. Finally, the terrible parents we are, we started putting food on plates for dinner. Now, my son still eats his dinner in a booster seat with a tray, because if he was unrestrained, well, eating would be the last thing on his mind! So, my wife called out to him, “time to get in your chair, Buddy!” His response was fairly unexpected, “I not hungy”. Now, while he gets distracted if he’s not sitting in his seat, he is almost ALWAYS hungry. So, I walked out to the living room to find out what was going on. I find the little rascal laying on the couch and moaning. That’s when I suspected my night wasn’t over, but as my son is QUITE the actor, I assumed it was his attempt at being funny.
“What’s the matter, Pud?” I asked in a semi-amused voice. He then explained that his belly hurt, and that he wasn’t hungry because he already ate. Now, my son has a penchant for attempting to eat inedibles….so with brief hesitation I inquired as to what he had already eaten. “A triceratops” he moaned. A TRICERATOPS?? For a brief second, I thought he must be joking….and then I looked on the floor to see all of my daughter’s small plastic dinosaur figures spread out across the floor. That’s one of those panicky parenting moments where you are convinced you have to be wrong, but you know you probably are NOT. Long story short, apparently, he had picked up a triceratops before getting into the car to head to Target and, on the car ride…decided that he looked pretty delicious. Had he eaten it whole? Had he taken bites? Was it still in the car and he was making it up? My wife runs out to the car, and returns with a yellow triceratops figure….whew, he hadn’t really eaten it. Relief was short lived when we realized that this wasn’t a PLASTIC dino, it was a GROW dino…and the tail and back legs were missing. CRAP, is it toxic? How much will it grow? If it’s not an issue, WHY is he holding his stomach and moaning?? Time to call the emergency pediatrician line! After explaining the issue to the doctor, well my wife and son were off to the ER for X-rays… Why not me, you ask? I don’t do so well when one of my kids is sick. I’m not the strong, level headed kinda guy. I’m the “OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, what if, what if, what if….” kinda Dad. Not really helpful for anyone. Now, that leaves my poor daughter home with me yelling for no reason, which leads to her crying, which leads to me yelling more…bad cycle. Luckily, after about 5 minutes, I pulled it together, assured my daughter Zach was going to be fine, and sat down to wait. About 2 hours later, the X-rays came back clear, and my crazy kid and weary wife made their way home.
Funny side effect of all of this, is that my son feels compelled to shovel the snow. Apparently, while they were at the ER, the doctor asked Zach “if he was going to shovel all of the snow for Mommy and Daddy tomorrow” and my son apparently agreed that he would. He recounted the conversation to me immediately upon walking through the door and I think that he somehow believes that the shoveling was part of his treatment. So, for the past two days, whenever we are outside, my literal little guy had to have a shovel in his hand….pretty hilarious! Though, based on the picture below, I have to believe that Pud will think twice before eating another dino if the prescription will be shoveling snow…..
And that friends, was MY Wednesday….life is far more interesting than fiction!